Empyreal Environs

Clay Buchholz, Kelly Shoppach, Mike Aviles, Kevin Durant, and Russell Westbrook all contributed superlative efforts to salve the wounds of Boston sports devotees last night.

Buchholz was in peril early when Jose Reyes tripled from the leadoff spot in the first. The Red Sox starter probably wasn’t prepared to pitch because Mark Buehrle’s half inning took all of three minutes. Buchholz battled back to strike out Omar Infante, Hanley Ramirez, and Giancarlo “Don’t call me Mike” Stanton, stranding Reyes at third.

That inning set the tone for the rest of the frames. Buehrle plowed through batters at his typical brisk pace while Buchholz seemed to somewhat mimic his counterpart’s alacrity. The Red Sox batters finally wrapped their bats around Buehrle’s mid-80s offerings in the seventh. Will Middlebrooks lined a single to the well-worn right field and scored when Shoppach doubled to the equally bedraggled left-center gap to the lime green outfield wall.

Note to the Marlins groundskeepers: there’s a problem when your stadium’s paint is greener than the grass.

Aviles looped a single to center and Shoppach scored. That run was the margin of victory as Logan Morrison homered to lead off the bottom of the seventh. The circuit clout by a member of the local nine led to the awakening of the monstrosity in center field.

If one could physically embody something as damaging to the game on par with Pete Rose betting on baseball the moving monument in Marlins Park would be in the top five. It spews fountains like at Kauffman Stadium but in spurts to imitate fishes splashing. Arcs of lights blaze like a tawdry slot machine. Marlins spin in and out of a garish diorama of rainbows, palm trees, and flamingos. It had all the class of a toddler pageant but less restraint.

Other than that, I enjoyed the play “Our American Cousin.”

Honestly, though, nothing can permanently tarnish the game of baseball. Not steroids, not bettors, not incompetent commissioners, not imbecilic umpires, and certainly not a kinetic sculpture.

To cap off breaking the Red Sox losing streak Durant on the Oklahoma City Thunder beat the Miami Heat. The Thunder fans, unlike Marlins fans, definitely know that a game is going. The Okies may take a break to grab a beer from the concession stands but they certainly aren’t whiling away their time in a bar with carnival dancers.

Game 62: June 12, 2012
Boston Red Sox 30-32	2	W: Clay Buchholz (7-2) H: Vicente Padilla (14) S: Alfredo Aceves (15)
		2B: Kelly Shoppach – 2 (8)
Miami Marlins 32-30	1	L: Mark Buehrle (5-7)
		3B: Jose Reyes (5) HR: Logan Morrison (5)