Empyreal Environs

Max Scherzer’s pitching motion is as elegant as a man performing the Heimlich maneuver but he got the job done: 6 innings pitched, 7 hits, 3 earned runs, 2 walks, and 6 strikeouts. The heterochromic hurler out-dueled Josh Beckett, who surrendered a triangle triple to Prince Fielder in the fifth that granted the visitors the lead. Fielder legging out a triple was slightly more graceful than Scherzer’s fierce delivery.

Jarrod Saltalamacchia continued to tear the cover off the ball. His second-inning home run came tantalizingly close to the Jordan’s Furniture sign. Bernie and Phyl wouldn’t be happy about that given their advertisement deal with the Red Sox backstop. Saltalamacchia tied the game 3-3 in the bottom of the third and would have been the star of the game if the local nine notched a victory.

Instead that honor was garnered by Darnell McDonald’s daughter Jiana. In the brief segment she was shown she displayed more charisma than all former NESN fielder reporters combined. She recounted her interview with Mike Aviles where she asked the infielder why he spit on the ground. His response? “He cracked up,” she reported. She also asked Aviles who his favorite Red Sox player was. “Darnell McDonald!” he replied smilingly. “Are you saying that because he’s my dad and I’m interviewing you?” she demanded.

She didn’t pull any punches with her own father. “Are you sad you didn’t have a boy?” she queried, head askance with skepticism.

While Saltalamacchia’s performance has impressed Jerry Remy enough to consider him a strong contender for the All Star game roster, Jiana was not of the same mind. Something didn’t go well in their dialogue and she dismissed him early. Bobby Valentine may have felt similarly after the catcher’s throwing error allowed Miguel Cabrera to advance to third in the ninth. Maybe Salty needs to catch more Zs on the Serta icomfort.

Game 51: May 31, 2012
Detroit Tigers 24-27	7	W: Max Scherzer (5-3) H: Phil Coke (10), Joaquin Benoit (12)
		2B: Alex Avila (8), Danny Worth (1) 3B: Prince Fielder (1) HR: Delmon Young (4)
Boston Red Sox 26-25	3	L: Josh Beckett (4-5)
		2B: Scott Podsednik (2), Kevin Youkilis (3) HR: Jarrod Saltalamacchia (10)