Empyreal Environs

Canada, which some liken to a quasi-American state that thinks it’s a country, defeated Texas, an actual American state that entertains the same delusion. Ontario-born Erik Bedard notched his first victory in a Red Sox uniform and it came against one of the more formidable offenses in the league. The southpaw pitched for six innings for a quality start: 5 hits, 3 earned runs, 4 walks, and 6 strikeouts.

Yoshinori Tateyama’s name can be broken down to:

義 yoshi: righteousness, justice, morality, honor, loyalty, meaning
紀 nori: chronicle, account, narrative, history, annals, geologic period
建 tate: build
山 yama: mountain

My hackneyed translation is “Righteous Chronicle of Mountain Building,” with the mountain being Red Sox runs. Tateyama took over from Colby Lewis in the fourth with the score tied 3-3, Dustin Pedroia on first base, and one down. The reliever missed the zone and his backstop’s glove, allowing Pedroia to take second on a passed ball. With first base open Adrian Gonzalez was intentionally walked to get to Kevin Youkilis, whose commercial is driving NESN viewers insane.

Youkilis popped a ball into the stands that hit an empty tray atop a vendor’s head. A fan in a tie-dyed t-shirt caught the ball on the rebound. The vendor strolled along as if nothing happened. Youkilis flied out to left for the second out, but getting two-thirds of the way through the inning didn’t give Tateyama much more confidence.

Pedroia and Gonzalez advanced on a wild pitch to David Ortiz and again with first base open Ron Washington called for an intentional walk. Mike Aviles, substituting for Jed “Ted” Lowrie due to Lowrie’s tight shoulder, lined a go-ahead single into center.

The Red Sox put so many runners on base in the fourth that Dick Stockton, play by play man for Fox, got confused and said that Carl Crawford was at third when the left fielder was batting with the bases loaded. Crawford launched the ball into Boston’s bullpen for a game-shattering grand slam.

Tim McCaver’s most egregious mistake of the game? Stating that Eduardo German’s last name was pronounced with a silent “g,” but it is pronounced with a “h.”

Ken Rosenthal violated HIPAA in fourth when he talked about Jarrod Saltalamacchia’s Adderall prescription. It was the Red Sox catcher’s two-run homer that tied the game.

Game 138: September 3, 2011
Texas Rangers 79-61	7	L: Colby Lewis (11-10)
		2B: Yorvit Torrealba (27), Elvis Andrus (20) HR: Esteban German (1)
Boston Red Sox 84-54	12	W: Erik Bedard (5-9)
		2B: Josh Reddick (14), Carl Crawford (21), Dustin Pedroia (31), Mike Aviles (14) HR: Jarrod Saltalamacchia (14), Crawford (11)