Downer
| Game 122: August 17, 2007 | |||
 Angels |
7 | H: Justin Speier (14) H: Scot Shields (27) BS, W: Francisco Rodriguez (4, 5-2) |
71-50, 1 game winning streak 22-13-4 series record |
| Red Sox | 5 | BS, L: Eric Gagne (3, 3-1) | 73-49, 1 game losing streak 25-11-4 series record |
| Highlights: David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez doubled back-to-back to give their team the lead in the eighth. | |||
Season 106: Episode 122
Radio Play-by-Play Voice: Joe Castiglione
Fan #1: Tina Fey
Fan #2: Fred Armisan
Fan #3: Amy Poehler
Debbie Downer: Rachel Dratch
Bob Bummer: Steve Carell
Eric Ennui: Eric Gagne
[Open on Debbie Downer and Bob Bummer in the bleachers behind the home bullpen at Fenway attending the night game of yesterday’s doubleheader]
Radio: Temperature today at Fenway is 78 degrees, wind out to right field at 17 miles per hour.
Fan #1: What a gorgeous summer day! A perfect day for baseball at Fenway.
Downer: All this wonderful weather we’re having is surely a sign of global warming. Just ask the polar bears as they slip off their melting icebergs. [Camera closes in on Debbie’s face with sound effect: wah wah]
Bummer: Yes, and since the polar bears can’t hunt their usual quarry the fur seal they have protein deficiency issues and therefore diminished immune response. [Camera closes in on Bob’s face with sound effect: bwom]
[Dissolve to jingle montage]
Jingle: You’re enjoying the game
The team’s full of acclaim
Then along
comes Debbie Downer
She’s got a new boyfriend named Bob
Who’s just as bad at making you sob
You’ll beg them to spare you, “It’s not that big a prob!”
But you can’t stop Debbie Downer! [Zoom on Debbie and Bob’s sad faces]
Fan #3: Hey, that was pretty clever of Lowell to let that ball drop in the infield to try and get a double play.
Bummer: Amazing he can think on his toes given that I’m an insomniac from worrying about feline AIDS every evening. [Camera closes in on Bob’s face with sound effect: bwom]
Downer: It’s the number one killer of domestic cats.
[Eric Ennui pokes his head out of the bullpen]
Ennui: I keep telling my teammates that and they act like these deaths are meaningless! Well, then again, life is meaningless and when we die our existence and consciousness winks out of existence for all eternity and the struggles and triumphs we experience don’t survive us. [Camera closes in on Eric’s face with sound effect: cracking of the bat for a game-winning hit and crowd response of “Awwwww!”]
Fan #2: Hey, it’s that choker that blew the game against the Orioles a few nights ago! Boo! You suck, Gagne!
Jingle: The Red Sox were in the lead
Until Eric Gagne took the mound
To Francona you can only plead
Why go with someone batters pound
Like Eric Ennui [Zoom in on Eric’s sad face]
Fan #3: Don’t be such a downer like these guys. [Gestures to Debbie and Bob] See, look, we’re trailing 4-1 but Lugo just got on with a walk.
Downer: Yeah, but he did have two errors tonight and is seventh amongst major league shortstops in errors with 16. [Camera closes in on Debbie’s face with sound effect: wah wah]
Bummer: And there are those domestic abuse accusations that were [air quotes] “recanted” by his wife. [Camera closes in on Bob’s face with sound effect: bwom]
[General hubbub from the field and all the fans cheer boisterously except for Bob and Debbie]
Radio: In a remarkable turn of events the Red Sox have taken the lead in the bottom of the eighth! They scored four runs off Scot Shields and Francisco Rodriguez, two of the better bullpen arms in the American League. Consecutive walks by Lugo and Ellsbury, Pedroia single to jam the bases. Crisp pinch ran for Pedroia and Scioscia called for K-Rod. Wild pitch by the closer Rodriguez plates Lugo and the other runners advance. Ortiz and Ramirez both double and the home team wrests back the game; the score is now 5-4, Red Sox.
[Gagne warms]
Fan #3: Come on, Eric! Give ’em your best!
Fan#2: Yeah, here’s your chance. Don’t blow it!
Bummer: Hopefully you won’t rupture your biceps tendon or anything out there. [Camera closes in on Bob’s face with sound effect: bwom]
Downer: Or herniate your discs again. [Camera closes in on Debbie’s face with sound effect: wah wah]
[Dissolve to montage of Gagne blowing the lead in the top of the ninth]
[Camera closes in on Eric’s face with sound effect: cracking of the bat for a game-winning hit and crowd response of “Awwwww!”]
