Slump
Game 110: August 6, 2006
Red Sox (65-45), 6
Devil Rays (47-65), 7
H: Mike Timlin (17)
BS: Jonathan Papelbon (4)
L: Julian Tavarez (2-4)
W: Shawn Camp (4-0)
10 innings
This internal monologue is inspired by the negativity currently circulating on Red Sox message boards. Many are inveighing against Theo Epstein’s lack of moves before the trading deadline, especially since the Yankees significantly improved their team with the addition of Bobby Abreu and made an effort to shore up their rotation with Cory Lidle. The screeds below aren’t actually my opinions but rather are a glimpse into the minds of fans on the verge of insanity who have lost all perspective during this slump.
Positive Joanna: Well, that was somewhat disappointing. One would have hoped that the Red Sox wouldn’t have lost ground in the AL East or wild card races while playing the lowly Rays. Despite their record, Tampa Bay is a talented young team.
Negative Joanna: Squirts on the teams congregating for the 2006 Little League World Series could have gotten the winning run off of Seth McClung.
Positive Joanna: Bullpen performance can fluctuate over time. The woes of Manny Delcarmen and Mike Timlin are an aberration. Jonathan Papelbon can’t be expected nail down every save. Julian Tavarez had been reducing his ERA over his last three appearances and had it under five until last night.
Negative Joanna: Delcarmen is too green, Timlin is obviously cooked, and Papelbon is falling back to earth. I wish Witch City Sox Girl directed Tavarez to LeLacheur Park and the Spinners all pretended they were the Red Sox. He’d still be pitching there today. And if Theo weren’t so hung up on hoarding his prospects, we’d have Rheal Cormier for these key spots in games. He was awesome for us in 1999 and 2000--he had a 100% winning percentage.
Positive Joanna: He got two vulture wins. Well, at least Jason Johnson is showing that he can be competent on the mound. He pitched six innings and gave up only a single earned run to rookie Ben Zobrist.
Negative Joanna: Kip Wells would so kick Johnson and Kyle Snyder’s collective asses. Kip Wells, Theo! Is that so much to ask for?
Positive Joanna: David Ortiz hammered his 40th roundtripper of the season and became the only Red Sox player to reach this milestone three consecutive seasons.
Negative Joanna: Figures. We never get the best sluggers.
Positive Joanna: You’re deranged. You just have to calm down. Do you really expect the team to go for it now and lay waste to the farm system like the previous ownership did?
Negative Joanna: We could have had Roy Oswalt; we just had to give up Coco Crisp, Craig Hansen, and Jon Lester.
Positive Joanna: But, we’d still need help in the rotation....
Negative Joanna: The answer to that? Four-man rotation.
Positive Joanna: I need for you to breathe deeply and supply your brain with just a bit more oxygen.
Negative Joanna: Yup, like Wily Mo took the keys from Raymond’s buggy, I need to take the keys from Theo and drive this team down victory lane. Speaking of Peña, he wouldn’t be in my lineup; I would have kept Arroyo.
