Empyreal Environs

Game 71: June 23, 2006
Phillies (35-38), 2
Red Sox (43-28), 10
L: Ryan Madson (7-5)
W: Josh Beckett (9-3)

Josh Beckett was brilliant, dallying with a perfect game until the sixth inning. David Bell insinuated himself between Beckett and perfection with a banausic single up the middle. Until that blemish, the right-hander hurled the apple for five strikeouts, including two of Ryan Howard. Howard would have attained the dubious distinction of the “golden sombrero” had he had enough at bats, but in the three times the slugger faced Beckett he was baffled.

Behind Beckett the Red Sox defense played flawlessly. Alex Gonzalez played a bounding, spin-inflicted pop-up that dropped just in front of second base, nimbly gloving it to throw out Aaron Rowan to kill the inning.

The Phillies, Nationals, and Braves seem like clones of each other: just enough talent to wade in the kiddie pool of the NL East but not yet ready to take part in adult swim. Here’s how Philadelphia stacks up against the rest of the majors:

• An OBP of .330, placing them in the 20th spot
• Slugging percentage of .430 is 13th
• Seventh in strikeouts, a team total of 523
• Ninth worst in team ERA 4.76
• Fifth worst in OBP against with .351
• Second worst in slugging against with .466

Ryan Madson is the fourth pitcher in the Phillies’ rotation and is seemingly responsible for the bulk of the atrocious pitching statistics of his team. Madson lasted only one and two-thirds innings during which he relinquished six earned runs. In particular, Manny Ramirez was his bane with his three-run homer in the first inning and RBI double in the second. The double was Madson’s undoing and the Phillies’ starter was yanked from the mound.

Another issue in the Phillies’ pitching staff is Brett Myers’s domestic violence incident. He allegedly hit his wife Kim on the face with his fist. Just because this is the first time we’ve heard of a such a thing about Myers, it’s highly unlikely it was the first time she’s been abused. The ontology of abuse is such that the abused will act in denial and defend her abuser for fear of further retribution. That might be why Kim bailed out her husband.

And yet Philadelphia doesn’t reprimand or sanction Myers. Neither does the MLB suspend him. Honestly, I’m hoping for a bench-clearing brawl in which the wife-beater gets his come-uppance. I’m certain Curt Schilling will be one of the first to render on Myers’s face what he did to Kim’s.

Notably, the Family Violence Prevention Fund uses the trope of Coaching Boys into Men with images of baseball. Perhaps Myers can prove himself a real man and not hit people when he’s angry.