Empyreal Environs

Game 25: April 30, 2006
Red Sox (14-11), 4
Devil Rays (11-14), 5
L: Curt Schilling (4-1)
W: Scott Kazmir (3-2)
H: Chad Orvella (1)
S: Shawn Camp (3)

Tropicana Field: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. Consider Tampa Bay’s mascot Raymond. Again he mocked Gordon Edes as the Boston Globe sports columnist as he delivered his notes from around the league. Raymond, who habitually meanders about the field without pants, also had the temerity to flash the camera. Who knows what he’s trying to put on display there, as rays don’t have mammary glands. The mascot even left a note on his publicity still in the NESN booth. He told Jerry Remy that he had fleas. We clearly have a case of mammal envy.

The Devil Rays took their cue from the Swedes and added Ws to their vocabulary, securing a game and therefore series win yesterday. The Red Sox dropped their third straight series and are now tied with the Yankees for the lead in the AL East; perfect timing as the Gotham jocks make their way for a two-game series.

There were a few highlights for the visiting team. Mike Lowell reached into the stands in the first inning to retrieve a foul ball off the bat of Carl Crawford. The third baseman actually had to jostle some Red Sox fans who exhibited horrible in-game awareness. Perhaps it was because they were on vacation on not on their best fan form.

David Ortiz hit a franchise record tenth home run in the fourth inning. It was the first run scored in the game for the Red Sox who, as was typical in this series, were trailing the opposition. Toby Hall, displaying a taste in coiffure as egregious as Kevin Millar’s, jacked a two-run homer in the second inning for the early lead.

In the seventh inning, Rudy Seanez made yet another bid to be the first player on the opening day roster to be removed by gifting Carl Crawford with the left fielder’s first roundtripper of the season. Seanez would be right at home in the Tampa Bay bullpen. Chad Orvella relinquished back-to-back homers in the ninth inning to Lowell and Wily Mo Peña, and Orvella still got a hold.

Boston continued their comeback attempt after the twin homers. Trot Nixon walked and Willie Harris pinch ran for the right fielder. Next Terry Francona had J.T. Snow pinch hit for Alex Gonzalez. During Snow’s at bat, Harris stole second and advanced to third on a throwing error by Hall. Tyler Walker was so spooked he was pulled mid-at bat in favor of Shawn Camp. Camp proved as unreliable by hitting Snow, who was replaced by Alex Cora. Home plate Brian Runge seemed to be in a hurry to get home; he called three straight strikes with Kevin Youkilis at the plate, not all of them as “strikey” as the others. Mark Loretta ended the rally and the unsuccessful roadtrip by grounding out to the shortstop.