Empyreal Environs

Inspired by Andrew’s recent quiz on 12eight, I compiled a list of Red Sox players whose names corresponded with Massachusetts town names. Throughout history there have been 31 players whose names were more or less the same as 20 townships, with four “Gardners” and “Russells” tied for the highest number of players. I bent the rules a bit by allowing the town “Becket” to be matched with the new right-handed pitcher Josh Beckett, Mike Gardiner with “Gardner,” as well as “Hanson” to count for Craig Hansen.

I was surprised to find that there were no Carvers, Chesters, Conways, Daltons, Dennises, Douglases, Dudleys (although there was a “Dud Lee”), Eastons, Ervings, Franklins, Gills, Hamiltons, Heaths, Holdens, Lincolns, Miltons, Monroes, Montagues, Montereys, Newtons, Nortons, Norwoods (although there was a Norwood Gibson), Palmers, Randolphs, Somersets (which was a past owner’s name), Sterlings, Townsends, Warrens, or Westons on the team, ever.

And who knew there were no towns in Massachusetts called Adkins, Agbayani, Agnew, Bailey, Bowsfield, Brickner, Byerly, Campbell, Dropo, Ferrell, Fullerton, Gosger, Heflin, Irvine, Kell, Littlefield, Litton, Newsom, Owens, Patterson, Runnels, Sheldon, Schofield, Stuart, Truesdale, Vernon, Willoughby, or Worthington. According to the list I got from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts website, there are no towns that start with the letter “J,” either. There is a town called “Sheffield,” but thankfully the Red Sox don’t have a player with such a name.

The table below is compiled from a spreadsheet I made with the all-time roster (courtesy of Red Sox Diehard) and all the town names; if you’re interested in seeing it, I can e-mail it to you.

The Red Sox All-Time, All-Town team is heavy with right-handed pitchers and is a bit shallow in the outfield with only three ballhawks. The AT-AT team, as I like to call it, has 8 All Stars. Let’s hope George Lucas isn’t particularly litigious this holiday season.