Empyreal Environs

Following the Angels’ defeat of the Texas Rangers on Sunday, several Yankee players and Joe Torre himself expressed their surprise over field manager Buck Showalter’s decision pull his starters early in the match-up. Michael Young, Mark Teixeira, and Hank Blalock were all pulled for pinch-runners in the 3rd inning with Texas leading 4-1. Anaheim rallied to defeat the Rangers 7-4 and earned home-field advantage in their upcoming playoff series against the Yankees.

“There’s a code of honor when so much is on the line,” Yankees shortstop Alex Rodriguez told the New York Daily News. “I mean, I don’t have to follow it, and neither do the rest of my teammates, but I expect other teams to do so.”

Other members of the Yankee organization also expressed their dismay and added that they expect some compensatory action in the postseason. “It’s surprising,” Joe Torre told The New York Times. “If his team was in the playoffs, I could understand it a little bit more. It’s just surprising he pulled them so soon. I’ll be making sure the Yankees get the proper show of respect in the ALDS, however.”

As a result of this slight, the Yankees have requested the right to determine the other teams’ playoff rosters. “It’s only fair,” continued Torre. “I’ve called [Terry] Francona, Ozzie [Guillen], and Mikey [Mike Scioscia] and sent them preliminary lists of who I want to see on their rosters. I even included some batting order suggestions to get them on the right track.” Torre then brought out a piece of Yankee stationary with a Red Sox lineup that had Kevin Millar batting clean-up and David Ortiz in the 9-hole. “Oh, this is for the ALCS... if they make it that far, that is.”

Torre then produced another sheet dedicated to the upcoming ALDS against the Angels. “See, here’s what I faxed to Mikey just now. I’ve recommended that [Vladimir] Guerrero get a breather for the next few games and that he sit Orlando Cabrera against Randy [Johnson].” Angels shortstop Cabrera hits the lefty at a .364 clip with an OBP of .481.

“We just request that other teams do what we ask in the name of good sportsmanship,” concluded Torre. “That includes making reparations for how shoddily the Yankees were treated in the course of Showalter’s game mismanagement this past Sunday.”