Empyreal Environs

Game 75: June 27, 2005
Indians (40-34), 7
Red Sox (44-31), 0
W: Kevin Millwood (3-5)
L: Bronson Arroyo (6-4)

The Red Sox looked as if they had been abducted by aliens and replaced by animatronic players, and their pre-programmed motions were seemingly inspired by outtakes from the Bad News Bears (which is being remade with Billy Bob Thornton). Only Johnny Damon, Edgar Renteria, and Mark Bellhorn managed hits. For the second time this season the team went scoreless, and Cleveland exacted a small measure of revenge for being swept on their homefield.

With 1 out in the 4th inning, Bellhorn blundered a throw from Bill Mueller to abort a double play. As the ball trickled past him, Travis Hafner and Victor Martinez scored and Ben Broussard advanced to third base.

Trot Nixon should be credited with a home run assist for aiding Grady Sizemore hit a home run in the 7th inning. As he was tracking the ball towards the right field wall, his glove made like Jose Canseco’s head and the ball bounced from the mitt into the visitor’s bullpen. No one could have been angrier than he was at himself.

Animatronic Arroyo was a spiritless collection of gears and pulleys that went 6.2 innings with 6 hits, 7 runs (5 earned; thanks again, Bellhorn Version 9.75), 3 bases on balls, 4 strikeouts, and 2 home runs. The Sizemore homer was a gift from Nixon, but Travis Hafner’s cleared the bullpens and made it into the lower bleachers.

Native Americans nations originating in the state now known as Ohio include Delaware, Miami, Mingo, Ottawa, Shawnee, and Wyandot. They were from two major language groups, Algonquin and Iroquois. The majority were taken from their homeland with the Indian Removal Act of 1830. If the Cleveland organization truly wanted to honor Native Americans, they would change their name and logo, perhaps using the glyphs that the native peoples of their area used to chronicle their lives.