Empyreal Environs

Game 70: June 21, 2005
Red Sox (40-30), 9
Indians (37-32), 2
W: Bronson Arroyo (6-3)
L: Kevin Millwood (2-5)

The name Bronson Anthony Arroyo has terrific poetic resonance. “Bronson,” despite popular belief, does not mean “deathwish” but rather “son of the dark-skinned one;” his middle name is “Anthony,” means “priceless, inestimable;” and “Arroyo” means “stream.” The middle name might be overstating Arroyo’s value just a bit, but $1.85M for for an ERA hovering around 4; the team could be paying $5.67M for Jaret Wright’s 9.15 or $9M for Carl Pavano’s 4.53. He delivered a solid 7-inning performance, allowing only 1 earned run, 1 walk, and striking out 4. “Stream” obviously refers to the rush of fans that will be in line to get buy his upcoming CD Covering the Bases, dropping July 12. “Son of the dark-skinned one” is of course in honor of the Big Papi himself, David Ortiz, the god of designated hitters. These days it seems that every pitcher is Ortiz’s son.

I got a circular from Comcast today. Usually junk mail goes straight into the trash, but this one featured Ortiz, complete with replica autograph. His signature looks more like “Hip Pipate,” but upon closer inspection it does resemble his name. It’s one of those optical illusion signatures. The main motto is “Connecting is Believing.” “Comcast is my most valuable player,” the glossy bit of advertising proudly proclaims. There’s a picture of him relaxing at home with the taglines “Choice and convenience are always solid hits in my house” and “It’s how I connect when I’m not connecting with the ball.” I guess he hardly ever has a chance to surf through Comcast, because he’s always hitting, this game’s 3 for 4, 2 home run performance serving as an example. I am saddened to report that no recipe for mango salsa was included, and there was not even a coupon to D’Angelo for a Big Papi sandwich.

My obsession with Bill Mueller is well-documented, so here’s a requisite mention of his great deeds, as I hadn’t written any hosannas or hallelujahs about him lately. He scored from from 1st to home on Mark Bellhorn’s double to center field in the 9th, and has batted .345 with an OBP of .409 for the month of June. So I tip my cap, àla his appearance in the Bob’s Store commercial, to my favorite gentleman of leisure.

Trot Nixon actually made Baseball Tonight’s Web Gems with his spectacular catch of Ben Broussard’s sacrifice fly in the 8th inning with the bases loaded. He ran full bore into the wall, treating his body like he treats his hat.

It was such a calming, non-stressful game, by the late innings Don and Jerry show was in full swing. In the 9th inning, Orsillo said, “Not much banging going on up top” in reference to the ubiquitous Jacobs Field drummer. A perfect setup for Remy to say something, but he didn’t come through, surprisingly. My response would be, “Nope, not like in that Toronto hotel room.”