Empyreal Environs

Game 32: May 9, 2005
Athletics (14-18), 5
Red Sox (19-13), 13
L: Danny Haren (1-5)
W: Tim Wakefield (4-1)
H: Mike Myers (3)
H: Mike Timlin (8)

Do baseball players consider the first game of their series to be Monday? This game happened on Monday night for all of us 9-to-5 stiffs, but most of the team had just pulled a double shift the day before. Any days off would be their weekend, maybe they would call it Satursunday. Since there are no 5-game series during the regular season, players can never say “Thank God [or other applicable system of belief] its Friday.” Which begs the question: are there pagan ballplayers? There must be, some guys are always talking about some pantheon of baseball gods. For this game, for this season so far, in fact, Johnny Damon must have been invoking the God of Flowing Locks and Red Hot Hitting.

To me Oakland’s field manager Ken Macha looks like Vice President Dick Cheney. Macha got thrown from the game in the 6th inning for the first time ever. (Do field managers call each other after they get ejected for the first time? “My first time was by Mark Carlson. He was okay, and it didn’t hurt, but I was a little disappointed. I heard Tim McClelland was better. I’m going to try it with him. It’s supposed to be unforgettable.”) Maybe Carlson was also reminded of the vice president when he saw Macha, and just felt compelled to toss him out on principle. “This is for Halliburton!”

I’m sure I wasn’t along in thinking that Danny Haren was going to get lit up. He was one of those Cardinals right-handed pitchers that all basically threw the same stuff, although he did do better than the starter, Woody Williams. Haren was the World Series Game 1 reliever, a game the Red Sox won despite 4 errors.