Empyreal Environs

Game 15: April 20, 2005
Red Sox (9-6), 8
Orioles (9-6), 0
W: David Wells (2-2)
L: Bruce Chen (1-1)

Good things come in threes, they say, and insert a joke about Wells’s weight being in the 3-hundreds here. Actually, he’s probably not that heavy any longer, since he lost some water weight doctoring the ball before pitching it last night, according to Lee Mazzilli. Not many expected Wells to pitch a 3-hitter over 8 innings, and even fewer thought that Blaine Neal would be able to have a 1-2-3 9th. It’s nice when improbably good things happen to recently suspect pitchers. Wells has earned a brief reprieve from the “embedded Yankee” and “Mendoza redux” monikers.

Mazzilli, a fellow Yankee alumnus, even had the umpires visit Wells in the 6th because of the lefty’s spitting in his hands. Playing mental chess with Wells. Ponder that irony for a bit.

What’s up with all the balking? Balking always makes me think of Balki Bartakomous; am I alone in this peculiarity? Jason Varitek scored on a balk in the 5th when Edgar Renteria was batting. Varitek then hit a 3-run homer in the next inning. Other players contributing RBIs were Damon, Ramirez, Mueller, and Bellhorn. Everyone loves a potluck scoring approach. “How did you make your RBI, Mark?” “Oh, I singled it in. I didn’t want anything too heavy. How about you, Billy?” “Well, I doubled. I just prefer it that way. Spicier.” “Check out Johnny. He grounded one in. But that’s because he’s on the Atkins diet.”