Empyreal Environs

Dave McCarty and Mark Bellhorn were miked up for the visit to the White House on March 2, 2004. The tape was confiscated by the Secret Service immediately after the visit.

DM: Err, testing? Testing, one, two, three....

MB: Testes...?

DM: What’s that, Mark? The crew was saying something at the same time.

MB: ...

DM: Okay, well, greetings, folks! We’re here live at the White House on a gorgeous March afternoon. It’s a significant day, not only because the Boston Red Sox, your 2004 World Champions, are visiting the White House, but because this is the 169th anniversary of Texas independence.

MB: Sixty-nine. Heh.

DM: One hundred sixty-nine, actually, Mark.

MB: Sure.

DM: Anyway, you’ll recall that this proclamation set the wheels in motion for the standoff at the Alamo. Since it was such a bloody conflict, there’s a lot of discussion and revisiting of the issues surrounding the event. It was the nexus of American expansion and expression of identity versus the established Mexican government. I can’t wait to talk to President Bush about this historic occasion. I’m sure he doesn’t have penetrating analysis of the topic, but I’d like to see how his handlers prepped him.

MB: I was talking to him earlier. Out in that garden.

DM: Really? In the Rose Garden? Frankly, I’m a little jealous. So, uh, what did you talk about?

MB: Not much really. Plants.

DM: There are quite a few intriguing botanical specimens in the Rose Garden. Did you see the magnolias, or the crab apple trees? How about the hyacinths...what’s that smell? It’s a little smoky around here.

MB: Not sure.

DM: It’s coming from you, I think.

MB: Nah. You’re imagining things.

DM: I do have an active imagination, this much is true.

MB: I’m hungry. When’s lunch?

Special thanks to Pine Tar Helmet for the Dave/Manny dialogue idea, although Mark Bellhorn had to pinch hit for Manny. (Something that would never happen in real life. Isn’t the blogosphere cool?)